By Venise Grossmann

Graduation is the school function I dislike most to chaperone, but not because I do not like it. It is just that as soon as I hear the first few chords of "Pomp and Circumstance," I start to cry. Although commencement is a new beginning for our graduates, for me, and most teachers, it marks an ending.

Waiting to enter the stadium, I watch the students that I have known since they were freshman line up. They have changed in the four years that we have spent together, and I have changed in knowing them.

As each capped and gowned student walks by, memories bombard me-some positive, some negative.

I see Bob who warned me not to drink my can of soda that another student stuck his chewed gum in.
I see Beth who told me that when my back was turned, two students threw the class set of paperbacks out the window.
I see Chris who e-mailed me an article he thought I might find interesting.
I see Shannon who said she was sorry for getting into a catfight with another girl in my class.
I see John who saw to it that money I had stolen from me was returned.
I see Jill who made me an award on the computer that said "Most Talented Teacher."

I also see Mark who threw a book at me from across the room and then slammed the door on the way out.
I see Julie who called me a ----ing -----.
I see Jack who scanned his face while we were in the computer lab.
I see Jim who, when angry over a grade said, "Just wait until my mom is finished with you."
I see Melissa who said, "Too bad your Austrian ex-husband only married you for a green card."
I see Joe who was angry with me and kicked my car door in.
*The names have been changed to protect the "not-so-innocent."

Although for a while some of the hard feelings lingered, but when I see their scared, solemn faces, as they march onto the field, any remaining negative feelings dissipate.

Sure, I will see some of the graduates again. A few will come to visit; I will run into a couple at local restaurants, and I will hear secondhand stories about others, but most will follow the dictates of Robert Frost's poem, "Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I [doubt] if I should ever come back."

The words of Vitamin C, a group popular with teenagers, are also appropriate as the ceremony draws near: "And if you got something that you need to say, you better say it right now cause you don't have another day."

I wonder what they will remember of their sojourn with us. What information or life lessons will prevail?

Twenty years after my own graduation, I have ten maxims I attempt to follow and have tried to share with my students through example:

Keep learning
Take risks
Say how you feel
Travel
Read
Fall in love
Exercise
Don't curse
Be positive
Pray

I always choose to remember the good I see in my students, because high school is a tumultuous time-one that we as teachers sometimes play a minor role. Teens are dealing with so much, sometimes more than we could ever imagine.

After they hurl their graduation caps and pick up their diplomas, rather than hear the final chords of "Pomp and Circumstance, I would prefer to hear the lyrics to Lee Ann Womack's "I Hope You Dance":

"I Hope You Dance"

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.